scotchrocksNever mind the old adage, “you are what you eat.” What is in your glass is far more important than what is on your plate. And what you drink says far more about you as a person than you might actually think. So, without absolutely any scientific research, here are your personality traits based on the libations you enjoy imbibing. Think of them as behavioral quirks in a boozy, liquid form.

If you drink Scotch on the rocks: You privately wish George Clooney was your dad and secretly regret that you don’t have more chest hair.

If you drink champagne cocktails: You are really into brunch as well as smooth jazz. You might actually be Kenny G.

If you drink Jack and Coke: You are either still in college or loved college so much that you just can’t let it go. You wear a baseball cap backwards 74% of the time.

If you drink a Daiquiri: You live life to the fullest, embracing any challenge that comes your way. (Note: disregard if said Daiquiri is frozen. Then it just means you’re on vacation.)

If you drink Red Bull and vodka: You are clearly underage. Go home and do your homework!

If your drink vodka martinis: You are easily confused because technically martinis are made with gin. To compensate you quote a lot from James Bond movies which no one finds endearing, except your mom.

If you drink red wine: You hate everyone who doubts your beliefs. If a girl has never seen “Sideways” then you will refuse to date her.

If you drink white wine:  You are the happiest, most well adjusted person you know. You’ve never seen the movie, “Sideways.”

If you drink a beer and a shot: You are a man’s man who constantly needs to prove that point by always ordering a beer and a shot.

If you drink a Manhattan: You think Don Draper is cool but for some reason you detest Jon Hamm.

If you drink a Mezcal Margarita: You are into pain or you hate yourself. Either way, you will feel one of those two things the morning after you drink this.

If you drink a Negroni: You are into mixology and all of its terminology and lingo but you could not make a cocktail to save your life.

If you drink gin, straight – You are a drunken hobo from the Depression. What time machine did you use to travel to 2013?