Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned food cage match? Comparing two foods to find out who proclaims victory is better than most professional sports going today. Throw a quesadilla against a crepe inside The Octagon and let them do battle on pay-per-view (obviously the quesadilla wins by choke hold late in the third round) and you are guaranteed a good time. So today we bring you an all time classic…

NEW YORK PIZZA VERSUS CHICAGO PIZZA

Let’s check the tale of the tape:

Portability: New York. Hands down. Fold it up and you are good to go. Ever try folding up a Chicago stuffed pizza? It’s a train wreck.

Ingredients: Chicago. You can stuff anything in a Chicago pizza (go ahead, we dare you). New York style really is only good for cheese or pepperoni. Anything else complicates things because the slice is so thin.

Cheese: Chicago. It is a scientific fact that more cheese is always better. More cheese is more fun. If you are upset with this answer, blame science.

Speed: New York. There is never any waiting around for a slice of New York style, unless pizza joints want mass rioting. Chicago pizza, on the other hand, take awhile to cook. A loooong while. Like order your pizza, go do some errands, hit the gym, do your taxes and maybe, just maybe your stuffed spinach pie will be ready.

Grease factor: Tie. All pizza is greasy and if you can’t handle that then go order a kale salad.

Affordability: Tie. New York pizza is definitely cheaper, but you have way more leftovers with Chicago pizza (seriously, eating more than 2 pieces will make your stomach explode like in “Alien”), so it pretty much evens out.

Coolness factor: Has to go to New York. Putting two thin slices of New York cheese together and eating them as one is just plain cool. Using a knife and fork to saw through a piece of Chicago garlic and sausage? Not so much.

Uniqueness: Chi-town. You can only get truly good Chicago style pizza in Chicago – everywhere else either does their spin on it or just plain doesn’t do it right. New York style pizza – no offense New Yorkers – but you can pretty much get that around the world (you know, like Italy).

And the winner is…

Hell, I don’t know. Both are awesome in their own ways so I am copping out. What do you think?