Now that the New Year has arrived, it is time to get serious. No more jacking around. Things need to happen, goals need to be achieved and s*#t needs to get done. Do you want your 2014 to be the greatest year of your life or not? Well, if so, you need a little help. Here are some Weekly Gravy Worthless Life Hacks that will make this upcoming year more efficient, more successful and just plain more kick ass. Apply these to your life and we guarantee* that you will crush 2014.

(*Not a binding guarantee)

1) Everyone knows that vinegar can be used as a great cleaner, but it can also be used as salad dressing.

2) Answering emails while sitting on the toilet will improve your work flow by one third.

3) Get rid of any friend that says, “whatevs.” They will ruin you.

4) A hot compress will help a zit go away, but it is faster and way more satisfying to just pop the sucker.

5) You can stop future photo bombing by punching whoever does it to you in the face.

6) Always place a cookie in your car visor. Chances are you will forget about it and the next time it’s sunny and you pull your visor down…free cookie!

7) You can bet that anytime someone describes something as “rock and roll” it most assuredly will not be.

8) The best way to stop a beer from foaming out of the bottle is to just drink the damn thing.

9) Spit will defog your swim goggles. It is also a natural lubricant.

10) A great way to inspire yourself to exercise is to say over and over, “No one will love you if you don’t.”

11) Buy a fake handlebar mustache, that way you won’t waste time growing one (cause handlebar mustaches are stupid).

12) Sticking an old bar of soap on to a new bar NEVER WORKS. Just toss the old bar and use the new one to save your sanity.

13) Making your bed will give you a sense of accomplishment even if you don’t do squat for the rest of the day.

14) Do not trust anyone who uses the adverb “very” twice in a row – that person is most certainly trying to screw you.

15) You do not need to re-wash vegetables that are already labeled as “pre-washed”, unless you have a serious case of OCD…then have at it.

16) A good way to curb a chocolate craving is to eat chocolate.

17) Never log on to Spotify via FaceBook. Do you really want people to know that you are listening to Katy Perry at work?

18) Smelling rubbing alcohol can relieve nausea. Drinking rubbing alcohol will cause nausea.

19) Money won’t buy happiness, but there are few problems that can’t be solved by chucking some cash at it.

20) Understand that everyday is a gift…and sometimes that gift is a kick in the nuts.