Rosa Parks on the twenty dollar bill

The US Treasury just announced that they will be putting a woman on the $10 bill. Sorry Andrew Hamilton, but your stupid bow tie and snarky demeanor simply aren’t cutting it. This only went to infuriate the movement Women on 20s as it clearly was a move on behalf of the male-dominated government to undermine women by putting them on a $10 bill and not a $20 bill. Had nothing to do with the fact that, in monetary timeframes, we just updated the twenty while the ten is due for an update, which makes it kind of perfect to use for the goal of adding a woman on a bill. Clearly it’s a ploy by men.

But the movement had people vote, and it was decided by popular demand that Harriet Tubman be the woman to grace our new and improved $10 bill. Now, I would never argue against the fact that Harriet Tubman deserves to be on the $10 bill. Hell, she deserves to be on a completely new denomination of bill we call the “Tubman” (as in “How much does that cost? Two and a half Tubmans?”). In any case, in the announcement Secretary of Treasury Jack Lew (clearly not his real name, but kudos for an awesome fake name) stated that a decision had not yet been made. Which means that the spot on the tenner is still wide open for a woman to claim. Here are three of my humble suggestions:

Lucille Ball

While most of the modern kids these days no longer know who Lucille Ball (the Lucy we all love to love) is, she is quintessentially American. She embodies the will to succeed, the yearning to be the best that, while not a uniquely American trait, certainly is associated with us rapscallions. She started small as a model, and just devoured the entertainment industry from there. I mean, she was an entertainment juggernaut. She was an actress. A comedian. A singer. A model. A producer. A film studio exec. And she was doing it in the 50s. But my completely biased reason for putting her on the $10 bill is that she took the general consensus (which still lingers) that women aren’t funny and threw it in everyone’s face by being hilarious. My question is: Why not have a little smile when you pull out your money instead of seeing some old white dude staring back at you? You don’t need to be judged for that beer you know you don’t need to buy but that you’re gonna buy anyway.

Amelia Earhart

Amelia Earhart is and was, by all accounts, bad-ass. She flew solo across the Atlantic. She flew solo across North America and back. She raced airplanes competitively. She did many things that no one, man or woman, was doing at the time. And she did this all in spite of the fact that she was born in Atchison, Kansas, who’s only claim to fame is sounding like a sneeze. Plus, what other women worthy of the $10 bill can claim one of the most enduring mysteries in aviation history?

Beyoncé

If the first two women don’t work for ya, I know this will. This is the obvious, completely no-brainer choice. Name any woman that embodies not only what America is, but what we want it to be, more than Beyoncé. She is a national treasure. She’s one of the most influential women in all things culture. Hell, she’s our Queen (Bey). Granted, there is one small, tiny, little, minor issue. The only stipulation the US Treasury has for putting someone on our money is that the person has to be dead. Again, just a minor little inconvenience. I mean, who wouldn’t want to sacrifice themselves for the immortal glory of being in someone’s wallet, getting pulled out, and being slightly disappointed that they saw your face and not Andrew Jackson’s Native-American-Killing face*? It would be an honor, not just for your country but for yourself!

*Look up the Indian Removal Act if you’re high-school US history classes aren’t kicking in.