corndogThat would be at Disneyland in Anaheim, California. Don’t bother eating any other food there because it is all crappy tasting crap created by crappy crap cooks in a land called Crap. They could mess up a Pop Tart. But the corn dogs they make there are the best you will ever find.

The Disneyland corn dog actually tastes like someone paid attention to making it.  Each one is made to order. It is heavily battered but not soggy with a nice crispiness on the outside. And, shock of shocks, the corn part actually tastes corny! The hot dog portion is fine. It’s really just the transport system for the delicious batter so it gets kudos for not jacking everything up.

I slather mine in copious amounts of yellow mustard and as much as I love spicy mustard, even if Disneyland had it, I wouldn’t use it. It just wouldn’t go. It would be like doing The Running Man to “Smells Like Teen Spirit”; sure you can do it, sure it will match the rhythm, but ultimately it’s just kind of stupid. I don’t use ketchup because ketchup should never be used on a hot dog and if you think otherwise please talk with Mr. Anthony Bourdain – he will set you straight on such nonsense.

I am convinced there are no other better tasting corn dogs in the world, assuming that other countries also indulge in a deep fried, battered, encased meat product. Hot Dog on a Stick is exceedingly average, a soggy listless consumption; I mean, come on, what do teenage girl know about corn dogs? Corn dogs at sporting events or carnivals always seem like a good idea, until you pay seven dollars for one that is either ice cold or rips open the roof of your mouth from the scalding heat. And microwave corndogs are a joke pasted on an abomination.

The Disneyland corn dogs can be located at a red truck (that wisely only serves corn dogs) just past Main Street on the right hand side. Be prepared to wait because the line is usually long as it is no secret that these Disneyland corn dogs are the greatest achievement of Mr. Walt Disney, with the exception of freezing himself. To beat the crowds I prefer to get one when I first arrive at the park.  I actually ate one for breakfast with absolutely no guilt…well, maybe a little, but I just washed that guilt down with another corn dog two hours later.

Enjoy your time at Disneyland. It really is the happiest place on earth…mostly because of that damn corn dog.