Dear LeBron,

First things first…welcome back.

I certainly don’t need to tell you how much you have been missed. You can see it on my smiling, tear-stained visage. To say I am ecstatic that you are playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers again would be a massive understatement. After a four-year absence you are back in my life and, more importantly, back in my heart. I’ve let you go and, like a homing pigeon or boomerang, you have returned.

Secondly, that was a beautiful letter you wrote to me. Truly, truly beautiful. I know many other fans will think you wrote it for them, but those fans are full of s*#t and completely delusional. I know that you wrote it for me. I can tell that the time spent away from me has matured you and made you wise beyond your twenty-nine years.  You are now comfortable in your own skin. And I just have to say, from the bottom of my heart, “I get you.”

I want you to know I’ve changed as well. I too have done some growing up. I gave up gluten (I know you suggested it years ago and I didn’t listen – color me wrong), I’ve started parting my hair in the opposite direction, I am listening to NPR on a regular basis, and I even signed up for a Zumba class. And remember that annoying habit I had when I would hum while I ate my food? Remember how that used to drive you crazy? Well, in a word, GONE. So it looks like we’ve both done some work on ourselves.

The time apart has definitely done us both some good, letting us both develop as men. You went to the NBA Finals four years in a row, won two championships, and was both season MVP and finals MVP for back-to-back years. I reached level one-hundred and seventy-seven on Candy Crush. Mutual successes will only bring us closer together.

And now that you are home where you belong, I’m not saying you can’t see your old friends. I am not that controlling (which is another thing I’ve been working on since you’ve been gone). See whomever you want. D Wade? Invite him over for Taco Tuesday. Bosh? He is more than welcome to join us on bowling night. Chris “The Birdman” Anderson? Have him and his crazy tattoos over for an evening of The Settlers Of Catan and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. The point is you don’t have to give up your Miami crew just because you’re back in the Cleve. All are welcome – except Pat Riley who is banned from the entire state of Ohio from now until the earth blows up.

Now that we are buds again, you might notice some unflattering posts on my social media pages from years past. I could have just gone through my history and deleted them, but I want our new relationship – our new and improved relationship – to come from a place of complete and total truth. I want to be honest with you from the jump off. So when I posted that the only reason you were wearing a headband was to cover up your receding hairline, please understand that that was said out of anger. Mea culpa.

Don’t worry about things moving too fast. Trust me, we’re going to take things slow. I’m not going to push up on you and say you have to win a championship next year. We are going to slow our roll. No rushin’ – the lovin’ ain’t going nowhere. We are going to take our time, get familiar with each other, fall in love again, and then you are going to lead this team into multiple championships until the day you retire. No pressure. But do that.

I don’t want to jinx our relationship just when it’s on the mend, but I really feel a sense of destiny working. This was meant to be. We were meant to be. Okay, okay, I know, I’m overthinking again, something you’ve chided me for in the past. I’ll try not to be “so in my brain” about this. The important thing is that you are back in Cleveland. You are home. And I think I can speak for all Cavs fans when I say we are never letting you go.

Ha! Ha!

Just kidding.

Seriously…we’re not letting you go.

EVER.

Yours truly,

Kirk