feedingshrimpFoodies are like zombies. You can’t escape them and at this point you might as well not even try. But you can join them, even if you’re not that into food. Below is a list of foodie words, complete with definition and sample sentence that you can embed into your everyday speech. They will not only make you sound legit, but they will quite possible cause you to get punched in the face.

Acid: Another way to say vinegar without actually saying “vinegar.” “This tilapia is lacking acid and is so bland that I may kill myself.”

Artisanal: Once used to define a person who was skilled at an applied art such as a sculpture or jewelry maker, now it applies to any cook or baker who makes a product with their hands. “I know this great artisanal bakery that makes these little snack cakes that taste almost as good as Ding Dongs.”

Bold, complex flavors: The opposite of mild, easy flavors. Can be used to describe anything from a smoothie to a cigar. “I tend to gravitate to foods that have bold, complex flavors, like Indian cuisine…or cereal.”

Craft cocktail: Any cocktail handmade by a bartender (aka, mixologist, aka cocktail creator, aka still a bartender) that is not premixed and uses real ingredients. “My craft cocktail took a half an hour to make, but it was so worth it.”

Epicure: A fancy word for foodie. “The term foodie is so played out. I like to think of myself as an epicure.”

Farm to table: A movement to make food locally and have that food delivered and consumed locally. “I am a firm believer in the farm to table movement, unless I am really hungry and then I just get drive through at Jack in the Box.”

Flavor profile: The balance of flavors that goes into a specific dish. “The flavor profile of these Funyons is so…funyon-y.”

Fusion: Blending two different types of ethnic foods into one cuisine and then overcharging for it. “My favorite type of food is Philipino/Mexican fusion. My second favorite is Mexican/Philipino fusion.”

Gastropub: A higher end bar that serves even higher end bar food. “There is this great gastropub down the corner that serves fifteen dollar drinks and twenty dollar appetizers.”

Gastronome: An even fancier word for epicure. “The term epicure is so played out. I like to think of myself as a gastronome.”

Mouthfeel: Not the name of a new side project from Dave Grohl, mouthfeel refers to the tactile sensation one feels in their mouth when food is in it. “I stuff my piehole with Circus Peanuts strictly for the mouthfeel.”

Protein: Just another word for meat, chicken or fish but it sounds way cooler than meat, chicken or fish. “When I cook my proteins I always make sure a vegan is around so they can imagine the screams of the animal.”

Soupçon: Because every foodie should have a little French in them (just ask the French), this is a term meaning “just a drop” or “a little bit.” Pronounced, “soop san.” “I can only consume a soupçon of hot sauce because I have bowel issues.”

Sustainable: Fruits and vegetables produced by using renewable farming methods that try to eliminate any carbon footprints. “Though taste-wise I cannot tell the difference, I prefer my carrots to be sustainable.”

Umami: The newest of the five taste sensations on the tongue: sweet, salt, sour, bitter and umami. It is located at the back of the tongue and usually is associated with flavors that are savory. FYI, one of the best examples of a food that has umami is MSG in Chinese food. “The Kung Pao Chicken has an amazing umami even though it might be giving me a stroke.”

Wild game bird: Any poultry that is not domesticated such as squab or quail or even pigeon. “This wild game bird just flew right into my closed window. Guess what we’re having for dinner?”