I am not a donut guy. And though I say it’s because of trying to lead a healthy lifestyle, the biggest reason is that they give me a tummy ache. Not a stomachache, not a bellyache, not an upset stomach, not even indigestion – a TUMMY ACHE. So needless to say, donuts aren’t crammed in my piehole on a regular basis.
The Donut Man is determined to change all of this.
The Donut Man is a donut shop in Glendora, California. You know what else is in Glendora? Nothing. There is absolutely no reason to travel deep into the San Gabriel Valley to Glendora. Even if I had family in Glendora I wouldn’t visit them. But I sure will trek out there to gorge on one of the many silly good donuts that The Donut Man has so kindly created.
I mean, it’s a 24-hour donut shop that makes fresh donuts daily from seasonal ingredients and it’s cash only with a line out the door every morning…and noon…and night. Are you telling me I’m NOT going to go there regardless of how donuts make me feel? Especially when they selections like these?
* Chocolate Covered Bavarian Crème – Back when I attended an all-boys high school they used to sell donuts similar to these and there would literally be fistfights over them. I can only imagine what sort of Lord of the Flies scenario would happen if prep school teenage guys got a hold of these bad boys.
* Tiger Tail – basically a long glazed donut but it’s the size of a 2×4. I’m pretty sure The Rock used this donut to wreck shop in the movie “Walking Tall.”
* Peanut Butter Filled Donuts – Okay, it’s a tasty, fluffy peanut butter bomb. It’s a lot to handle. I finished mine but passed out from the sugar coma and woke up four days later with no pants on. Totally worth it.
But here’s the one item you must get at The Donut Man otherwise you have wasted your day driving to Glendora for nothing:
The Strawberry Donut
Fresh strawberries inside a giant, open glazed donut. They do the same with peach and apple but the strawberry version is top dog here. You’d think it would be way to sweet – it’s not. You’d think that it would be way too big – okay, it is. It’s the size of a baby’s head. You actually have to eat it like a hamburger. But so what? You can’t eat half of this kind of donut so you might as well enjoy the whole thing and go jogging later.
This is a MUST EAT DONUT. If you go to The Donut Man and do not get The Strawberry Donut when it is in season then you can consider your donut skills sub par and you might as well spend your morning eating some craptastic excuse of a donut at Drunken Blownuts.
Yes, I do get tummy aches even when I eat the glories of The Donut Man. I am racked with guilt as well. But I just don’t care and any place that makes me ill and shame-filled and still makes me not give a damn must be super special.
God bless you, Donut Man, whoever you are. You are mensch and there should be a statue made of you holding a baker’s dozen.