1. Instead of having a mentality that your relationship is a shared experience with shared goals and priorities, she will constantly insist that what she wants should take precedence over your stuff.
2. Your family members—and especially your mother—are adamant that she is not the ideal lifelong mate for you, and they have plausible reasons for believing this.
3. Her family members are out of their minds and she doesn’t question or call them on it.
4. She does not trust you. This is an important part of a relationship. If she’s putting you on blast for being around other women and is hinting that she thinks you might cheat on her, that’s going to get really old really quickly.
5. You don’t particularly trust her.
6. She’s extremely materialistic and expects you to fund her superficiality. There is nothing wrong with liking nice things, if you’re able to fund them for yourself.
7. You’re not on the same page about what you want from the future, most notably when it comes to starting a family. A friend of mine and his girlfriend broke up after more than five years because she did not want children and he did. That’s five years he could’ve been out there trying to find someone to knock up!
8. She is not by nature a very sexual person. You don’t want to pledge your life to somebody who doesn’t like to have sex with any kind of regularity, unless for some reason you are anti-sex.
9. She attempts to force her religion or beliefs on you. If you’re converting to Buddhism just so a woman will marry you, you’re probably doing it wrong.
10. You’re occasionally filled with trepidation that you have to go home to her at the end of the day. Your person should make you less stressed, not more stressed.
11. When you step back and look at the relationship objectively, it’s blatantly apparent that you are more devoted and in love with her than she is with you.
12. She persistently takes her anger and frustration with other facets of her life out on you. No dude should live his life as a human verbal punching bag.
13. She’s a big time attention whore.
14. Your friends do not get along with her at all. Your friends are the people who have known you (probably) before you knew this woman. They should know you better than pretty much anybody, and should be able to at least stand your girlfriend.
15. She tries to take you away from your friends, insisting that you focus on her 100 percent of the time, and doesn’t realize the value of time away from each other.
16. She tries too hard to change you, whether it’s the way you behave, the way you dress, or something else (changing to 2-ply is good thought). Unless it’s an unquestionable change for the better, you don’t want to have to change to meet a person’s specifications. Be yourself!
17. You don’t miss her all that terribly when she’s not around.
18. She cannot hold her booze to save her life, but this does not prevent her from getting hammered drunk on the regular, and making a fool out of herself and embarrassing you.
19. She has no issue with public nudity, and doesn’t realize why you take issue with her flopping her tits out on the beach for every person around to see, but gets mad when you, to prove a point, whip your dick out and start catching some rays.
20. There’s just some intangible thing missing that is keeping you from allowing yourself to commit to her.
21. She blows (or doesn’t ever blow, if you know what I mean) in the sack.
22. She is obsessed with marriage and constantly tries to pressure you into proposing. And if you do propose, she will not be happy unless you get her more carats than all of her frenemies have.
23. She believes her future children will develop autism if they are vaccinated.
24. She has a nonchalant attitude re: how evil cheating is.
25. She refuses to take care of herself, physically or mentally.