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Whether in a classroom or as an angry teen, most of us have probably scribbled a poem or two. Not surprisingly, so have many many celebrities. But some of these famous folk took it a step further. Whether by getting published, self-publishing, or simply feeling the need to share their wit and wordplay, the world (usually via the Internet) has gotten ahold of their poetic verses. Enjoy!

Here’s a doozy from everyone’s favorite drug-addled Hollywood lunatic, Charlie Seen:

I.D. Blues

By Charlie Sheen

“Excuse me, aren’t you…?”
“Hey, you look just like…”
“Oh my God, that’s…”
“Sorry to interrupt your dinner, but aren’t you…”
“Look, I never do this, but, my wife thinks you’re…”
“My friend is so convinced that you’re…”
“I’m so embarrassed, but, aren’t you…?”
“I know you must be tired of this, but…”


All eyes held in stare, all mouths locked open in
shock, he pulled the latex Carlie Sheen
mask from his head, revealing the rotting skull of
President Lincoln.

Via GQ Magazine

How about this sad little musing by Tim Burton about Johnny Depp?

Johnny Depp

By Tim Burton

There was a young man
everyone thought was quite handsome
So he tied up his face
and held it for ransom

He made everybody
back up 20 feet
Then he ran off
with his head
Down a darkly
lit street

The whole town
wondered why he’d
Threatened his face

They couldn’t understand,
…it was that kind of place.

Via Uproxx

Hold onto your seats, this poem by Pamela Anderson is about to bring down the house…on all of our heads. Here’s an excerpt:

The youth
The wild rose up from the ashes
The adults
Living and dead that fought for our rights
Sweet artists
Hold on
Crazy, the world goes on
And goes…

Via Playboy Magazine

Remember that scrawny pale girl named Kristen Stewart? She also jots poems from time to time.

My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole

By Kristen Stewart

I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon
across the black
Kismetly … Ubiquitously crest
Thrown down to strafe your
…I’ll suck the bones pretty.
Your nature perforated the
abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known
to man,
Stream rushed through and all out
Something Whilst the crackling
stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it

And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa.
One honest day up on this
freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He’s speaking in tongues all along
the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting
dust in
My eyes
And I’m drunk on your morsels
And so I took down the line
Your every twitch hand drum
Salutes mine …

Via Marie Claire

Surprise, surprise. James Franco writes poetry too. Here’s a little piece he wrote about his time filming Spring Breakers. He doesn’t sound too thrilled with his collaborators.

I’m the experienced actor,
I am a teacher,
When I acted in Spring Breakers
MY character was the teacher
And the young Spring Breakers
Were the students from hell,
The materialistic demons
From today’s celebrity age.

Via Strongest of the Litter