At least this is the way I look at it.
Technology has given us so many methods with which to break the ice without having to play the odds by doing something like walking into a bar, seeing somebody who is physically attractive and talking to them (maybe even buying them drinks!), only to find out that they are a member of Team Breezy or something. I mean, why would you not embrace the ways that have been made possible to get to know somebody (non-physically) without putting on pants and leaving your home to meet them face-to-face?
Which brings me to Facebook’s “Poke” feature. And why you should be using it.
In case you have forgotten about the poke, which has been around as long as Facebook has, then a brief refresher: you essentially push a button to poke somebody, and then they are to infer that you find them attractive. (You can poke people who aren’t in your network, too.)
This can be construed as creepy, and I think that’s the bad rap that poking usually gets. But the people who are going to be weirded out if you poke them are people who probably don’t find you attractive and wouldn’t have given you a shot in other circumstances. So screw ‘em. Or, more accurately, never screw ‘em.
Poking is a very simple, very easy way to tell somebody you’re warm for his or her form. And it immediately puts the ball into his or her court. If they respond to your poke with a poke, then you can proceed however you feel is appropriate. (Note: the appropriate way to proceed is not to poke them back in an attempt to start a poking war. If you get a return poke, initiate a conversation through a message or other means.) And if they never respond, who really cares? It’s like being rejected without ever having to hear about it from the rejector. Which is like a non-response to an OkCupid message, except you don’t have to take the effort to type out some ridiculous message.
Poking may well be the easiest way to give a digital “‘sup girl?” It’s low-risk, high reward. It costs you nothing — not even effort. So give it a shot. You may be surprised what kind of results it yields, and you’ll be able to easily forget about those it doesn’t.
It has actually worked for me.
When I was in college, I saw a friend of a friend from my hometown, who I’d seen around but had never spoken with or been introduced to, on Facebook. A friend and I clicked through some of her pictures, and he told me I should poke her.
“That is ridiculous,” I said. “That would never work.”
But I was drunk, so I did it. Then she poked me back. And messaged me a couple days later.
We ended up dating on and off for a very long time. She is one of the only women I have ever (maybe) fallen in love with. I still think of her often. (Hello.)
She’s married to somebody else now. But don’t let that distract you from the point I’m trying to make:
Poking can work. Don’t leave it out of your digital courtship process arsenal.