Those a-holes really made us wait 25 years.

Twin Peaks’ long-awaited return to TV will finally be happening next year, with the Showtime series picking up 25 years after the original series ended. It’s a reference to a dream (nightmare?) had by Kyle McLachlan’s FBI Agent Dale Cooper, wherein the slain homecoming queen, Laura Palmer, foretold the two would see each other again in 25 years.

David Lynch, the series’ co-creator, co-writer, and director, has been keeping things very tight-lipped regarding all facets of the eagerly-anticipated reboot, but on April 25th, via the show’s Facebook page, the world was given a look at the entire cast list — and boy, is it BIG! We had heard rumors about this person (Peter Sarsgaard) or that person (Naomi Watts), but not all of them proved true. Sarsgaard is sadly nowhere to be seen, but Watts most definitely is, alongside a whole slew of character actors, musicians, celebrities, and familiar faces.

We are super excited to see the return of so many of the show’s original names like McLachlan, Amick, Sherilyn Fenn, Sheryl Lee and Ray Wise – several of whom, er, exited this mortal coil on screen, so get prepared for flashbacks or supernatural returns or, most likely, both – but here are the twelve new additions that we’re the most excited about. Join us as we hypothesize madly about who they could be playing.

Laura Dern

The most famous of David Lynch regulars, it’s actually a surprise to remember she was never on the original series, despite working with the director on Wild at Heart at the same time the show was going to air. Nevertheless, Dern returns to the small screen after the untimely end of her HBO drama/comedy Enlightened. All is right with the world.

Who Will She Play? We’re going to predict that audiences finally get to meet Diane. The mysterious, faceless FBI agent and friend to Dale Cooper who he sent tape-recorded updates to throughout his investigation of the murder of Laura Palmer. Maybe she needs to visit Twin Peaks to do some investigating of her own.

Naomi Watts

Naomi Watts has geared up for her third spin at the Lynch table after her breakthrough in Mulholland Drive from 2001 and her return stint as a rabbit (yes) in Inland Empire. She’s likely the biggest-name actor on the list, but Mulholland Drive allowed Lynch to use her talents for both comedy and drama to perfect effect, so it will be a blast to see her return to his creative atmosphere.

Who Will She Play? Without Joan Chen returning – so no answer to the mystery of how she was transformed into a doorknob (seriously) – the show needs a slinky, sensual actress to compete with Sherilyn Fenn as the series’ resident bombshell. Watts may just be it.

Trent Reznor and Eddie Vedder

Let’s not forget that Lynch has cast singers such as Chris Isaac, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Sting in his works. We shouldn’t be all that surprised by the appearance of the Nine Inch Nails and Pearl Jam leads. Still, they’re curious additions with little acting experience.

Who Will They Play? Hopefully they play FBI partners on a case because, really, the world needs to see them in suit and ties with trenchcoats sipping coffee as black as night and eating cherry pie.

Amanda Seyfried

Seyfriend isn’t unfamiliar to the world of Twin Peaks. Sort of. The actress’s breakthrough role was in Veronica Mars as a beautiful murder victim whose mystery provided the dramatic crux of that shows first season. Veronica Mars was clearly inspired by Twin Peaks, so to see her on the show will be an added meta twist.

Who Will She Play? Maybe Laura’s mother, played by the returning Grace Zabriskie, had another daughter once the series wrapped up? She’d be the right age, and Lord knows this family hasn’t been through enough punishment already.

Ashley Judd

Once a big star, Ashley Judd’s fame has diminished over the last decade, and she has been sadly out of the limelight. Well, except for that brief moment where she was considering a run for office (!). Lynch knows a thing or two about getting once-famous actors back into juicy roles on screen, so let’s hope he has concocted something marvelous for Judd.

Who Will She Play? Rumor has it that she is Donna 3.0. Donna was the character once played by Lara Flynn Boyle, who then didn’t want to feature in the movie prequel, Fire Walk with Me, due to the inclusion of nude scenes. Boyle was replaced by Moira Kelly for the film. And since neither Boyle nor Kelly’s names are on the cast list, we’re going to guess that’s what Judd will be doing.

Michael Cera and Charlyne Yi

These two comedic actors have a long working history together ,so both of their names appearing on the list would heavily imply their characters are alongside one another amid the drama. They actually fit into the Twin Peaks universe perfectly, their brand of off-kilter humor comedy already a feature of the show.

Who Will They Play? Apparently, the show will see some characters visit Las Vegas, and don’t these two seem like a perfect fit for some weird out-of-towner couple. He’ll probably wear a big cowboy hat, because that’s what David Lynch does.

Candy Clark

Candy Clark is still best known for her Oscar-nominated performance in the ‘50s-set nostalgia piece American Graffiti, so it makes total sense that she would show up in a (fictional) town that, on the surface, appears to been plucked directly out of an Americana postcard display.

Who Will She Play? In the 1988 remake of The Blob, Clark played a diner waitress — so we know she looks good in a uniform. We guess she’ll play one of the waitresses of the Double R Diner, her hair bigger than Texas. Hopefully she doesn’t end up devoured by a transparent alien mass.

Rebekah Del Rio

This Latin American singer made a very memorable cameo in Lynch’s Mulholland Drive, performing an a capella rendition of Roy Orbison’s “Crying”. Even though Lynch is a known fan of musicians who act, her appearance on the cast list was nonetheless a big surprise.

Who Will She Play? Del Rio and returning chanteuse Julee Cruise – she sang the famous theme song, “Falling”, and appeared throughout the series and the movie – may just be involved in a clash of the singers at the Roadhouse. We’d love to see them singing a duet for all the town to marvel at.

Tim Roth

Tim Roth makes five Academy Award-nominees in the bunch – Dern, Watts, Clark, and Reznor have all been nominated and/or won golden Oscar statues. Recently seen in Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight, this is Roth’s return to episodic TV, having previously starred in Lie to Me.

Who Will He Play? I hope that Roth is cast as a relative of Harry Dean Stanton’s trailer park owner. I mostly just want to see these two great actors working together as backwater hicks.

Monica Bellucci

She was under-utilized in the recent James Bond flick Spectre. So much so that it was almost offensive. How do you cast Monica Bellucci and waste her so terribly? Hopefully, Lynch doesn’t follow the same path with this Italian beauty.

Who Will She Play? Bellucci seems like a natural to be running One-Eyed Jacks, the illegal brothel that Laura Palmer worked at before her untimely death. It’s a role that would call for a certain slinky sexiness that Bellucci excels in because, well, just look at her.

Click here for the full list of all 217 actors. Asterisks denote an actor previously affiliated with the show.

// //