If you’re in New York, San Francisco, or Montreal (for whatever reason) and need a room for an hour or two so that you can have a quiet space for a conference call, a meeting, or a little midday nap, you’re going to want to download and use Breather, a new app that allows you to book rooms around the city you’re in for an hour or longer.
The app is allegedly geared toward freelancers or mobile workers who might need a room other than the one in their apartment with the bed right next to the desk, to provide at least an air of professionalism.
When you use Breather, you choose a location and book it for a block of time on the day you need it. Each room used for Breather has a smart lock you open with a code that is sent to you for your time period when you book the room. The other side of the lock provides a timer so you know how much time you have left in your stay.
So now let’s get to the part of this app that was probably the first thing you though of when you found there was an app that allowed you to rent rooms by the hour:
Can you bang in the rooms?
I don’t see why not. One reason they float on the website to use the app is to have a private place to “catch up on some Z’s.” And you know the rule: if you can take a nap someplace private, you can surely also make sweet passionate love there.
Breather would of course come in handy if you were looking for a place to get a handy or more during a midday Don Draper-esque tryst with someone who is probably not your wife, you dirty dirty man.
I mean, if you can rent a clean, dope room in Soho for $25 an hour, why not host your orgy there instead of at home where you have to clean up after yourself?
Breather inventor Julien Smith told Mail Online that the biggest challenge in popularizing the app has been to convince people the rooms are not being used as a revolving door for epic bangout sessions. He compared it to people thinking Snapchat is used only to send nudes.
Rooms available on Breather are outfitted with fast WiFi, desks, and couches, but no beds.
Like “no beds” has ever stopped any of us before.
(But really, Julien: How are users supposed to “catch up on some Z’s” with no pillows around to rest their weary heads on? Most guys try to avoid sleeping on couches if they can help it.)
I’m not sure I’ll ever need a room like this for a meeting or anything, but I do know that if I do I’m going to book it for at least an extra hour longer than I need, so that I can bring the hookers in after I seal my big business deal.