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RIP, Gidget the Taco Bell Dog. You live on in every Crunchy Taco we devour in your honor. read on >

In the immortal words of Beyoncé: bow down, bitches. read on >

God help you if you choose to poop where you make your money. read on >

It is kind of embarrassing to be around all of these women who have bested me in a physical trial, but it’s no big deal. read on >

Ban Sarah McLachlan from talking to me about pets that need to be adopted. read on >

“I hurt myself today to see if I still feel.” Damn, we need to get some bottle service up in this bitch!
read on >

You take de oil in de coconut, you swish it all up. read on >

#17: My puppy is not really a people person. read on >

“Bye, honey, I’m going to the office now. And put on something sexy later, Mama’s taking you out when she gets home.” read on >

“For the last time, Mark, there will be no The Adventures of Mark in Facebookland! Let it go!” read on >

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